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westeros’s celebs read mean tweets (ps: all tweets are real)

Tue, 21 May 2013 12:38:40 +1000

westeros’s celebs read mean tweets (ps: all tweets are real)

what you said was: "i don't respect women who don't respect themselves"

Tue, 21 May 2013 12:34:14 +1000

what you said was: "i don't respect women who don't respect themselves"
what you meant was: "i and society as a whole hold women up to ridiculous respectability standards directly relating to the "purity" of said women while hypersexualizing them at the same time and if you are a woman and don't fit my awkward monolith of criteria then i refuse to acknowledge your humanity"
what i heard was: "hi i'm a misogynist piece of shit, please punch me in my face"

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Mon, 20 May 2013 12:05:03 +1000

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Mon, 20 May 2013 11:56:22 +1000

collegehumor: Game of Thrones Houses as Six Modern...

Mon, 20 May 2013 11:52:03 +1000

collegehumor:

Game of Thrones Houses as Six Modern Corporations [Click for more]

Typical corporate fat cats.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Sun, 19 May 2013 09:58:59 +1000

Plato: For the greater good.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

Douglas Adams: Forty-two.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Epicurus: For fun.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it [censored] wanted to. That's the [censored] reason.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Mr. T.: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Molly Yard: It was a hen!

Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.

Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.

The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.

Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.

Othello: Jealousy.

Dr. Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have, you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the Need to resist such a public Display of your own lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.

Mrs. Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.

Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.

Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in town ought never expose one to such barbarous inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the chicken in question.

Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.

Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome, filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume to question the actions of one in all respects his superior.

Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.

Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of misplaced concreteness.

Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter.)

Hamlet: That is not the question.

Donne: It crosseth for thee.

Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.

Constable: To get a better view.

Yeats: She was following the Faeries that sang to her to come away with them from the dull, bucolic comfort of the farmyard to the waters and the wild.

Shelley: 'Tis a metaphor for the pursuits of man: though 'twas deemed an extraordinary occurrence at the time, still it brought little to bear on the great scheme of time and history, and was ultimately fruitless and forgotten.

Tolkien: Chickens are respectable folk, and well thought of. They never go on any adventures or do anything unexpected. One fine spring day, as the chicken wandered contentedly around the farmyard, clucking and pecking and enjoying herself immensely, there appeared a Wizard and thirteen Dwarves who were in need of a chicken to share in their adventure. Reluctantly she joined their party, and with them crossed the road into the great Unknown, muttering about how rude the Dwarves were to take her away on such short notice, without even giving her time to brush her feathers or fetch her hat.

Netanyahu: He didn't cross the road, you anti-Semite. Stop delegitimizing Israel.

Bashar: It never happened, no such thing can ever happen...

Gingrich: Chickens are invented birds...

Nothingman: the Chicken was mocking the road

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Sat, 18 May 2013 17:22:29 +1000

10knotes: This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

Sat, 18 May 2013 17:17:01 +1000

10knotes:

This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

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Fri, 17 May 2013 21:34:23 +1000

taboulia: whoisriversong: SOUPE OPERAAAAAA!!! omg this...

Fri, 17 May 2013 21:31:16 +1000

taboulia:

whoisriversong:

SOUPE OPERAAAAAA!!!

omg this fucking thing

shanhammer: chinad011: it took me years to understand this...

Fri, 17 May 2013 21:27:17 +1000

shanhammer:

chinad011:

it took me years to understand this joke

Sandy was my favorite.

codingandtea: Felt like collecting some of my favorite quotes...

Fri, 17 May 2013 13:58:30 +1000

codingandtea:

Felt like collecting some of my favorite quotes from Jessica Valenti’s book The Purity Myth.

discopeanut: - Helen Mirren, beautiful in every way it’s...

Fri, 17 May 2013 13:55:14 +1000

discopeanut:

- Helen Mirren, beautiful in every way it’s possible for a human to be beautiful.

oh-deir: ACTUAL MESSAGE OF (500) DAYS OF SUMMER THAT NO ONE...

Fri, 17 May 2013 13:50:05 +1000

oh-deir:

ACTUAL MESSAGE OF (500) DAYS OF SUMMER THAT NO ONE ACTUALLY REALIZES

truuunicorn: everyone fucking read this

Fri, 17 May 2013 13:49:51 +1000

truuunicorn:

everyone fucking read this

man scrolling through tumblr sees a feminist rant about hating men

Fri, 17 May 2013 13:48:12 +1000

iphisquandary:

plot twist: the man thinks, ah, she is simply expressing her frustration as a member of an oppressed group, whilst hating the construction of masculinity that was designed to keep her down, not all individual men such as myself…this is absolutely not the same thing as sexism and not a personal attack on me *keeps scrolling*

Jon Stewart, explaining to young people why books are awesome.

Fri, 17 May 2013 13:47:18 +1000

Jon Stewart, explaining to young people why books are awesome.

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Fri, 17 May 2013 12:15:52 +1000

mohandasgandhi: sad-teeth: So today Angelina Jolie had double...

Fri, 17 May 2013 12:14:56 +1000

mohandasgandhi:

sad-teeth:

So today Angelina Jolie had double mastectomy, which is the removal of one’s breasts, to prevent Breast cancer. So instead of praising Angelina on her bravery, men on Twitter decided to ridicule her, even calling her stupid for removing her breasts. For those of you on Tumblr that are attacking Feminists for being delusional about sexism against women and misogyny here’s your fucking proof that sexism and misogyny exists.

Our celebrity obsessed culture may be a joke but breast cancer definitely isn’t - nearly 500,000 people die from it every year. Angelina Jolie’s doctors estimated she had an 87% risk of developing breast cancer and a 50% risk of developing ovarian cancer because she carries the common gene mutation that causes both. Her mother died at the age of 56 after a long battle with cancer as well. My own mother had both breast and ovarian cancer within a couple short years and let me tell you, it’s about the least funny thing in the world to watch someone suffer from.

Valuing someone’s body parts you sexualized over their life and humanity goes beyond sexism, it’s sub-human.

silvarbelle: vantasticmess: thedinosaurprince: fuckingrapecult...

Fri, 17 May 2013 12:12:36 +1000

silvarbelle:

vantasticmess:

thedinosaurprince:

fuckingrapeculture:

signifierofmalepower:

My picks from #safetytipsforladies on Twitter.

brilliant

ALWAYS REBLOG.

actually sitting here crying with laughter

SEXUAL CONSENT VOLTRON

LOVE that one about “his body has a way to shut gunshot wounds down.”